How to Give a Good Toast

How to Give a Good Toast


A toast is not just a useless tradition intended to embarrass or roast the celebrant, or worse, give an inexperienced public speaker a really tough time. It’s an opportunity to set the tone of the occasion, give a few wonderful insights on the celebrant, and exhort all guests to celebrate in honor of those they are toasting to.

It’s definitely a part of a ceremony that guests have begun to look forward to. Thus, if you are given the privilege of offering a toast, it is important to learn the proper etiquette and prepare for it days in advance, even if it only entails about three sentences.

Below are some DO’s when offering toasts:

DO wait for your turn. Wait for the host to call on you before you say your piece.

DO stand up. Unless you are toasting in front of a very small group of people, you have to stand up to be recognized. It will also help quiet a rowdy crowd and call their attention.

DO make sure everyone has a glass to raise before making the toast. It’s okay to use a non-alcoholic beverage, but never use water to toast as it is deemed bad luck to do so.

DO use a microphone if you have to. It’s pretty tricky to say something sweet and nice at the top of your voice so those at the other end of the hall can hear you.

DO introduce yourself briefly if not all the guests know you that well.

DO keep it short. Anecdotes should only be told by professional stand-up comedians or celebrities who will definitely catch the crowd’s attention no matter what they say. But if you’re new to giving toasts, limit it to around three sentences only. Any longer and the crowd will start being restless.

DO personalize your message. It’s better to have a prepared toast rather than speak off the cuff, but don’t extract a cookie-cutter toast, either. Try composing one especially tailored for the celebrant/s in an inspired moment and rehearse in front of family and friends. Ask them to be honest in evaluating it. If it falls flat, come up with another. You can also use a fitting quote to end your short speech.

DO say something nice. If you need to give a brief roast to break the ice, then by all means do so. But always say something flattering (but sincere) in the end.

DO make eye contact. Some people become so nervous that they stare at the ceiling, into the wine glass, on the floor, or straight at the camera when giving a toast. The proper thing to do is to make eye contact with the guests, not focusing on anyone in particular for a long time but randomly sweeping the room, and then end it by making eye contact with the person or people you’re toasting.

And here are some DON’Ts:

DON’T get drunk. Some people take a few sips of wine to help them loosen up before the toast, but overdoing it can slur your words and make you say something you weren’t planning on saying.

DON’T embarrass the celebrant. There’s a fine line between a roast and a secret that only the two of you should know about.

DON’T give a tired or inappropriate shoutout at the end. A simple “Cheers!” or “To the groom and bride!” will suffice.